This is the official blog of ex-Sgt Ellie Bloggs. I was a real live police constable then sergeant for twelve years, on the real live front line of England. I'm now a real live non-police person. All the facts I recount are true, and are not secrets. If they don't want me blogging about it, they shouldn't do it. PS If you don't pay tax, you don't (or didn't) pay my salary.


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Sunday, March 04, 2007

Institutional Baloney.

I am filled with admiration for politicians and civil servants. Sometimes, foolishly, when asked a question, I blurt out a mere "yes" or "no", when I could instead say that "it is hard for me to draw any conclusion without the full facts in front of me".

Enter the civil servant. When faced with the news that black pupils are apparently treated worse in schools, we get the response that "It is not helpful to use the R-word". I see this as the culmination of a glorious age of bureaucracy, and plan to adopt the non-answering-of-questions approach in future when I attend any incident.

For example:
Member of Public: Can I park here?
PC Bloggs: It is not for me to divulge the locations for legitimate deposition of vehicles, but the remit of the local authority. Kindly address your postulations to them.

MOP: Isn't it a bit early to be arresting a child?
PC Bloggs: There would be no worthwhile purpose in providing temporal justification for the deprivation of liberty of juvenile transgressors.

MOP: You're having a laugh.
PC Bloggs: I am unable to comment on the current status of my humour.

In the above article, the Department for Education and Skills successfully provides several lines of comment without saying a single thing that is constructive, relevant or even understandable. I suppose it wouldn't be helpful to use the Load-of-B-word.

Of course no one can B-word like Sir Humphrey:




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Copyright of PC Bloggs.

5 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bloggs v.v funny, I can see that you're destined for high rank.

05 March, 2007 21:45

 
Blogger staghounds said...

Teachers are incapable of racism. Only groups with conservative purposes or large proportions of conservative members can be "institutionally r". Police, prison services, navies, banks, etc.

05 March, 2007 22:16

 
Blogger Phill said...

As a civil servant myself I feel I really should point out that by telling the MOP who to go to about parking you are in fact being slightly helpful, this won't do at all.

Instead you should have stated that parking advice is ultra vires and you haven't received the required training so are unable to assist on health and safety grounds.

Plus you haven't quoted a single act of parliament in any of your answers.

Great (and disturbingly accurate) post.

06 March, 2007 21:00

 
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15 April, 2009 04:06

 

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