This is the official blog of ex-Sgt Ellie Bloggs. I was a real live police constable then sergeant for twelve years, on the real live front line of England. I'm now a real live non-police person. All the facts I recount are true, and are not secrets. If they don't want me blogging about it, they shouldn't do it. PS If you don't pay tax, you don't (or didn't) pay my salary.


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Thursday, September 13, 2007

Magma Bottom:

Things are looking desperate in Blandmore. Once again.

Every few months manpower levels sink to an all-time low. I think this week was a personal best as I turned up for work to find that briefing was to consist of me and me alone. Don't worry, I made sure the jobs were distributed between myself and myself and made an extra cup of tea just to give the impression things were ok.

If you think you live in Blandmore, you are probably not feeling so great about leaving your car parked around the corner tonight. BUT DO NOT FEAR: yet again Blandshire Senior Management have a cunning plan to save us all: the Police Officer Time-Share (POTS).

Instead of having individual teams made up of 8 or 10 officers, who come in and cover the early, late or night shift, there is now just an amorphous mass of officers belonging to no particular team. On any given day, the sergeant's job is to bring up a list of who should be on duty and phone each one to entice them into the response team's briefing with offers of tea, doughnuts and detections. The result is an eclectic mixture of officers from neighbourhood, dog section, tutor unit and a few from response, to make up the numbers for the day.

It can take up to two hours to reach a full complement of officers, by which time one or other of them is probably reaching the end of their tour of duty. Some have called this process STRESSFUL and A DANGER TO THE PUBLIC, but I just like to refer to it as POTS.

I think ultimately, we all benefit.

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Copyright of PC Bloggs.

13 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

An interesting thing about part time cops, in my force anyway, is that for stats purposes the part time bit doesn't matter.
So when politicians say there is x cops employed now and everything is wonderful then the true number in full time equivelents might be far less. A force of 1000 with 100 part time officers doing 50% hours. Looks like the same as 950 to me.

13 September, 2007 09:34

 
Blogger Paradise Driver said...

Well, with just you, and yourself, working, at least you know that you always have "back-up" in case the feces impacts the oscillating air movement mechanism.

BTW - which one pf you was OIC for the shift?

13 September, 2007 10:14

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've been acting sgt recently at our place.
Unfortunately there were only two of us on shift for four days.
I was handling the difficult job of allocating jobs to my "team" very well until two jobs came in at once.
Damn.

13 September, 2007 10:49

 
Blogger alanorei said...

Bombard the BBC here:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/
1/hi/uk/6990144.stm

They are inviting comments from serving officers.

13 September, 2007 12:18

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What other folks think

13 September, 2007 15:10

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

pcr, what you were managing the locality, your team, and handing jobs out to yourself as well?

13 September, 2007 15:48

 
Blogger Sergeant Simon said...

POTS?

1) Mad enough to make you smoke it. (weed variety)
2) I want to go and hit myself on the head with one. (round metal variety)

13 September, 2007 17:31

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

http://twining.wordpress.com/2007/09/14/225/

14 September, 2007 11:15

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

@PCR - Seems to me that all of you are acting. Hope you all have Equity cards.

14 September, 2007 13:48

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Did anyone say someone is selling POT? What's the going rate, I think I can get it cheaper.

14 September, 2007 18:42

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes Rod
My Hamlet is the talk of the nick

15 September, 2007 11:08

 
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